Once you identify the stressors in your life, I’m going to give you what I learned from the above link I gave to you, the Four A’s:
- Avoid
- Alter
- Adapt
- Accept
Here’s how we get started. Avoid unnecessary stress, learn how to say no, avoid the people who stress you out (if possible cut bait). Take control over the things you can control, if eating at a certain restaurant stresses you out, then quit eating there!
I know there are certain things you can’t avoid so alter them. Express your feelings instead of letting them boil like a volcano waiting to erupt. Compromise, meet the other half-way, make it a win-win situation instead of you lose, thus causing you major stress. Be more assertive and practice time management techniques, (there are plenty of web sites out there with this information.
Adapt yourself to the situation (remember the fox). Change yourself or HOW you deal with the thing that is causing you stress. Eliminate self-defeating words such as never, always, should and must. Reframe the problem, give up your perfectionism, and look for the positive.
Just like it says in the Serenity Prayer…accept the things you cannot change. I know easier said than done, you’re preaching to the choir here. If rush hour freaks you out, take another route or get up earlier to avoid it. You may NOT want to, but then again WHO is stressed here. Remember there IS a rainbow in every storm, (I’m still looking real hard for mine, but I do “know” it is there). Last but not least forgive, forgive, and forgive…remember they know not what they do. You are older, more mature and wiser, so give it up.
Now that you’ve done all of the above, treat yourself to de-stress. Talk a long bath, exercise, go to a movie, write in your journal, listen to music you love. I’m going to end this now with “quit trying to please everyone it virtually is NOT possible!
As always, thanks for your support,
I love you,
Eva Starr
