Soul Food – Letting Go of THIS Will Change Your Life
The very first thing I learned when I started seriously studying metaphysical principles was “You can’t control WHAT happens to you, but you CAN control HOW your RESPOND to WHAT happens to you!
I used to describe this scenario to my Louise Hay students when I taught the Louise Hay work back in the early 2000s. You are driving home from work, school, or a party (doesn’t matter what the event is). You get a flat tire on the freeway on the way home.
Let’s imagine three other people have the same thing happen to them. They may live in different cities or different countries and be driving entirely different automobiles. So, we now have three separate people driving home and get a flat tire.
I can guarantee you beyond a shadow of a doubt that all three of those people will REACT differently to the flat tire. None of them was ABLE to CONTROL the flat tire. However, they were able to control HOW they RESPONDED to the flat tire.
Person A: uses every curse word known to man, kicks the tire, and starts smashing the hood of the car in anger.
Person B: sits down on the ground next to the tire, crying her eyes out, because she’s now late for a hot date, and she spent too much time earlier telling her girlfriends about the hottie, that now her phone is dead, and she’s clueless about things like a “flat tire.”
Person C: takes a deep breath, pulls off the freeway to the shoulder of the road, calls AAA, then calls a friend with her new estimated time of arrival.
It doesn’t matter the “WHAT” of the scenario; the bottom line is “HOW” you respond to the “WHAT” of the situation.
In life, there are very few things WE CAN CONTROL.
- What we do with our bodies (but still we can only work with what we’ve been born with, or what we’ve done with them up to this point)
- How we act (this also depends on how we were raised, what we listen to, read, watch, etc.)
- What we think (again, read bullet point number two)
- How we react (to people, events, the weather, etc.)
I learned this principle early on as I traveled my spiritual and metaphysical path. Did I always follow the advice of “you can only control HOW YOU RESPOND“? NO, I DID NOT!
I have Aries Rising, and I am not comfortable with inaction when it comes to most things in life (most of the time, I wanted it YESTERDAY!).
Life has been testing my patience quite a bit lately, and I’m sure the man/lady upstairs is having quite the belly laugh at my expense.
I’m still going through the adoption process, and it’s been going on 2 ½ years now. I was initially told it would take a year or a year and a half. I complete all the necessary paperwork, forms, letters, documents, phone calls—you name it—to all parties involved, pronto, usually within the hour or the same day.
The other day, I realized all of this was stressing me out, and I am “ALLOWING” (catch that word there—I used “allowing”) all of this to take my power away through my stress and angst over the whole situation. It doesn’t matter one iota what I say or do; there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. It’s in the hands of a zillion (what it feels like) other people, agencies, organizations, supervisors, caseworkers, etc.
After this hard realization the other day, I came to my senses and said to my wiser self, “Girl, wake the F _ _ _ up!” You’ve got to let go of the wheel (control). God is the Captain of my Ship, and he/she has the wheel, and is steering the ship through calm seas, through rough waters, and even if the vessel capsizes, you have no control over the events. You’ve filled it up with gas, you’ve got a lifeboat on board, the crew has battened down the hatches, and the only thing left for you to do is ride out the journey. The Captain of the ship (God) will let you know when he/she sees land, and when it’s safe to pull into harbor. In the meantime, have a glass of wine, and control only what is in “your own damn boat,” leave the rest to divine intervention and Universal timing!
Let me lay it out for you, based on an article I read today. There are three circles: the circle of control, influence, and concern.
- Circle of Control – as I laid out earlier in this blog. Bottom line, there is very little you can do with things you can’t control, other than how you “respond.”
- Circle of Influence – we can influence our schools or communities by volunteering or writing letters to the editor. We can vote, but that doesn’t write or change the policies—or “may,” and I use the word “may” loosely—influence them. (or not)
- Circle of Concern – there are a zillion things in this circle, too many to list. Things we may be concerned about: climate change, hate crimes, how our newborns’ health is going to be their entire life, etc. Most of these things you can protest, join groups, donate funds to, etc. However, you single-handedly are not going to change the climate, the extinction of the Amur Leopard, or the Sumatran Orangutan, and you definitely aren’t going to control the random person who shoots someone with a gun, no matter how many gun control laws are in effect.
Pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of Java, and resign yourself to controlling what’s in your own boat. You’ll go to sleep tonight, letting go of all the multitude of things you’re trying to control.
Blessings,
Rosie & I send our Love,
Eva Starr
