What Is It About Surrender?
It’s been a crazy week to say the least…where do I start? Let’s take a walk inside my brain for awhile. Are you ready? This isn’t for the faint of heart but you will come out stronger. OK …I’m counting the days till rent is due, I’m still going through therapy for my back since the car accident, (last October), and I’ve sent out a Godzillion resumes.
So what’s wrong with this picture? NOTHING…if I could just surrender! Let me reassure you that YOU aren’t the only one in the neighborhood having a problem with surrender. 
- Surrender is not something you can learn.
- Surrender is not something that you can predict when it will happen.
- Surrender is not something you can force just simply because you are spiritual and you believe you are ready to “let go.”
- Surrender comes when you’ve tried all of the above and one day it just “happens.”
I have been concerned with the job thing, and some days I’m better at dealing with it than others. Then all of a sudden it happened. I was at my therapy session first thing Thursday morning when all of a sudden I couldn’t stop crying, I just let the tears flow…OMG I thought “it’s happening, I’m going through it.”
That is what’s called walking through it, and feeling it instead of walking around it, over it, under it, everything but through it. I realized at that moment I had turned into a ball of quivering mush and had just gone through it and surrendered.
After that I felt 100% better and realizing what had happened went about my day and continued to go about my weekend. It’s the same thing with calling my girls, (who both still live in Cleveland). One day I just decided to let it go…it was causing me to much stress, them not answering, me worrying something happened, no returns on texts…now I give it “NO MIND” and they call me, actually probably more often now.
What’s the big deal you say? Well, it may not seem like a big deal to you…but trust me it was a huge stress point for me. We all have “different” things in our lives that push our buttons, so figure out what yours is, take all the necessary steps, then move “through” it. Feel the pain, the sorrow, the fear, the doubt…whatever it is just feel it…then the “surrender” will just happen…when you step out of your own way and realize who’s in charge.
And just in case you still think YOU’RE in charge…just get a cat. 
Ziggy Starrdust
Ziggy StarrdustYou’ll learn very quickly who’s in charge then, and listen baby it ain’t you!
PS Now, I’m going to go out and celebrate my birthday!
I love you and as always thanks for your support! ~ Eva Starr
