Dear Starr: How Can I Keep My New Year's Resolutions?

Dear Starr:

It’s only been a little more than a week, and I already feel like a failure because I’ve blown a couple of my New Year’s Resolutions already! Then when that happens I feel worse, then I really fall off the band wagon, and it seems like I backslide even farther!

Any suggestions you have for me would be greatly appreciated, I seem to fall into the same cycle every New Year!

Signed,

Feeling Like a Failure

Dear Feeling:

First off, you’re not alone, trust me, we’ve all been there! It’s a vicious cycle, if we for example cheat on a diet and eat a cookie or a potatoe chip, we feel like we’ve already blown it so then we eat the whole damn cake, or the whole bag of cookies, or the entire Pringles can! The first thing I’m going to suggest is:

FORGIVE YOURSELF:
- Chalk it up to you missed the Bulleye’s, the game’s not over! Rome wasn’t built in a day, brush yourself off, and get back on the damn horse!
SET REALISTIC GOALS:
- Telling yourself you’re going to lose 30 pounds, or you’re NEVER going to eat sweets again is a recipe for disaster. Start off with five pounds and giving up sweets for a day. Be gentle with yourself and take your time.
WRITE YOUR GOAL IN THE POSITIVE FORMAT:
- In other words, how big is your WHY? What is the reason you want to do A or B to begin with?
- I feel healthier and energized when I eat right is a lot more fun sounding than I’m going to lose 30 lbs. (that sounds more like a struggle). Whatever the resolution is try to look at the “end result” (what happens when you REACH that goal? Focus more on that.
HAVE A PLAN:
- This goes back to my book “Quit ‘Should-ing’ on Yourself”:
- I “should” lose 30 lbs. is a DEAD-END street. Instead if you change it to I “COULD” then it looks something like this:
- I “COULD” lose 30 pounds if I:
  - went for a walk after meals
  - got up earlier
  - looked into working out with a buddy
  - checked out the local gyms in my area
  - got a Fitbit
- You see where I’m going with this?
Make yourself a PROS & CONS list:
- Take a sheet of paper, draw two columns, PROS & CONS and revisit it often so you know WHY you’re doing this in the first place. (See #3)
REWARD YOURSELF along the way with mini-rewards for yourself.
- I’m not talking eating a whole cake etc. things like a massage, a movie, a bubble bath, a visit to a favorite museum etc.
START OVER:
- In other words, just because you didn’t make it from New Year’s Eve, start again on a Sunday, or the New Moon, or the Chinese New Year, do you see where I’m going with this. Nobody says you can’t start again, it’s YOUR life, you’re in charge of the rules!