Soul Food-How a Crisis Can Help You Heal
I went on a little retreat this past week for some well-needed R & R. It was a mixed bag of R & R, but I learned a lot about myself and the people in my life. I stayed at an RV on somebody’s farm in Sherrodsville, OH. They had a good size floating dock, (a boat, anchored to their land, on a pond) and an RV also on the land. How cute, and cozy I thought. They also had a nice size firepit and a little shed filled with wood. They raise goats and chickens.
Perfect! I’ll get away, spend some time connecting to nature and God’s creatures, and do a little fishing and grilling out while I’m there. Well, the first night in the RV (which had a little window air conditioner, which kept the place cool) I woke up at 3am in a complete claustrophobic anxiety panic attack! Oh my, I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and it was so pitch black outside, not even a star in the sky, due to the storm the night before. I turned on the lights, opened the outside door to the RV, and even opened the bathroom door to make it feel more open. Nothing helped.
I tried to read a magazine called Positive Optimism, “oh, surely this will get me on the right track.” WRONG! I couldn’t concentrate on the words of positivity. I’ll get on my tablet, and do some astrology…WRONG AGAIN! I had something that had corrupted a file in my astrological software program, that made me even more anxious then I was before all this. Well, this isn’t working.
I’ll just pray. I prayed to my dad, (who passed over a year ago) surely he’s listening? Then I prayed to the “Big Guns” GOD! Well, eventually close to almost 5am now I fell asleep, and prayed it would soon be daylight.
The next morning, I got up and took a loooooooong walk, down the country dirt road, where the farms where about a mile or two apart from each other. I needed all the wide-open space I could gather. I called a good friend of mine in Nashville, for support and some resolution. Then after our talk, and going back to the RV I realized my youngest daughter Shayna, is only 45 minutes (north) away from where I was staying. She was going to come fish and visit with me on Wednesday, today is only Tuesday morning.
I called her (explained the situation) and asked if I could spend the night Tuesday evening and we both could drive back out to the RV Wednesday and feed the goats and fish. Being the most blessed daughter a mom could ask for, she said “of course mom.”
That’s what I did, and it all worked out in the end. This is what I learned:
- I’m not OK with confined spaces, no matter how “open” they appear to be.
- Don’t be afraid to call on a friend or a family member when you need support or a helping hand.
- It’s OK to be vulnerable, and afraid, just because other people aren’t it’s OK for you to be!
- ASK for help!
Whether this stems from a past-life experience, (which I believe it does) I can’t even wear a round collared t-shirt or a necklace around my neck. It has to be a V-neck and the necklace has to drop down to the breast-bone. Regardless, recognize your fears, honor them, and do your best to cope with them. Awareness is KEY! In the future, I’ll book more wide-open Airbnb’s (which is what I normally do).
I just wanted to share this experience, hoping it might help someone at some point in your life. I’ll be writing another blog this week, on the upcoming New Moon, which occurs Thursday afternoon.
Blessings,
Ziggy Starrdust & Eva Starr
